Day 3: Do you self harm?

31 Days of BPD *Trigger Warning*

let it ouit

This is quite a short post for me, because in the traditional sense – no. 

I do however completely understand the need and desire to let all of that horrible energy out and so subconciously this often results in small artificial cuts and scars. 

The back of my neck and my side are the two parts of my body that are often rough and sore from overly scratching and digging my nails in so hard that I bleed. This is something I can control much easier these days but occasionally when depression strikes it still gets the best of me. I also suffer with Cyclothymia so these depression states can last quite some time.

The other thing probably worth mentioning is when I’m hypomanic my face feels incredibly uncomfortable. This may be related more to the Cyclothymia than BPD but I think both contribute and I find it hard to differentiate which symptoms come from which disorders – it all just results in one me at the end of the day. I feel the intense need to scatch/pull/rub my face off. It feels sore and tight and just a general feeling that it doesn’t belong. This often results in it looking dry and sore for a few days afterwards when I just can’t resist the urge to touch it.

But general self harm is one of the only characteristics I have managed to keep at bay, and hopefully continue to.

love lauren x

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3 thoughts on “Day 3: Do you self harm?

  1. Astrid says:

    I am glad you have so far been able to keep from self-harming. I can relate to parts of your body feeling extremely uncomfortable when you’re in a particular mood. My hair drives me batty when I’m stressed (and not in the sense of a bad hair day, but as in the feel of it).

    Like

    • bylaurenhayley says:

      Thank you! That’s quite comforting that you can relate to it, it’s not a symptom I’ve heard of before and couldn’t find any similar experiences when I looked on the internet. Thanks for commenting!

      Like

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