Day 8: Do you have any other diagnoses?

31 Days of BPD *Trigger warning*

I also have Cyclothymia, which is commonly known as a lesser version of Bipolar.

 Cyclothymia graph

I’m not the best person to differentiate between this and BPD as for me the symptoms all come together and therefore I’m not 100% sure what is a result of what disorder (other than maybe what Google tells me). There is a bit more of an explanation on my BPD & Cyclothymia Awareness page though so check that out for more info.

I also have severe anxiety. My biggest fear is not being able to breathe, and therefore I am incredibly fearful of choking and it’s also brought on Claustrophobia and elements of Agoraphobia. Crowded spaces are a no-no, anywhere where I feel trapped such as a cinema – and more recently cars, trains and buses – which is definitely not ideal.

All of the diagnosis’ and issues I have all mixed together in one brain doesn’t make my mind a fun one to be living with. I’m up and down, I’m impulsive, unpredictable, snappy and scared of everyday irrational things. It’s not fun for anyone else to be around either.

It’s all about learning to control it though. I’m never going to be ‘normal’. As my friend Megan said to me about a week ago, ‘You’re a beautiful nut job Loz, you’re never going to be normal, but that’s why we love you’. But if I can control and live with the cards I’ve been dealt with, that’s good enough for me.

Normal’s boring anyway.

love lauren x

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6 thoughts on “Day 8: Do you have any other diagnoses?

  1. craftythesouless says:

    I also have more than one diagnosed problems, some yet to be assessed. It wouldn’t be so bad having the one, but you cannot fix one without fixing another at the same time, it is not an easy position to be in. Good to see others going out of their way to do research

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  2. loupmojo says:

    I have Cyclothymia too and I admit to being somewhat annoyed by it getting this ‘not as bad as BP’ vibe. Yes it is, just as bad, just as likely to cause suicide and massive highs, lows and physical symptoms, but because the swings are faster, tend not to hang around for those fabled months of black dog, this somehow makes them not as bad? Rubbish! I’d love those people to try waking up every day of their lives and never knowing when the next mood swing will come, how long it will last and how much damage it will do. Let’s see if they still think it isn’t so bad then! (Ok, rant over for today *chuckle*)

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    • bylaurenhayley says:

      Hahaha I completely agree. It’s awful and I struggle with it every single day. It’s still incredibly destructive and it does also irritate me how people see it as milder and therefore not as bad to go through. it’s horrendous to go through. My lows are so low. They might go away a lot quicker too but 5 minutes in that state is enough to hit rock bottom!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. thedoubtmachine says:

    It’s interesting how many different nervous disorders are intertwined with others. Almost every single person I know has more than one nervous/depressive/personality disorder at once. It’s like they all compound and feed into each other.

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  4. esse636 says:

    Lauren,
    thanks for this blog, it has got me thinking. diagnoses, labels, language- categorising are on my mind a lot at the moment. diagnoses have been things i have attended to some at different times in my life, in different ways. have had plenty of them- they’ve been helpful, sometimes, and limiting, sometimes. i will write some more about it on my blog some time.
    anyway, just wanted to say thanks for getting me onto these thoughts again.
    esse

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