31 Days of BPD *Trigger warning*
I also have Cyclothymia, which is commonly known as a lesser version of Bipolar.
I’m not the best person to differentiate between this and BPD as for me the symptoms all come together and therefore I’m not 100% sure what is a result of what disorder (other than maybe what Google tells me). There is a bit more of an explanation on my BPD & Cyclothymia Awareness page though so check that out for more info.
I also have severe anxiety. My biggest fear is not being able to breathe, and therefore I am incredibly fearful of choking and it’s also brought on Claustrophobia and elements of Agoraphobia. Crowded spaces are a no-no, anywhere where I feel trapped such as a cinema – and more recently cars, trains and buses – which is definitely not ideal.
All of the diagnosis’ and issues I have all mixed together in one brain doesn’t make my mind a fun one to be living with. I’m up and down, I’m impulsive, unpredictable, snappy and scared of everyday irrational things. It’s not fun for anyone else to be around either.
It’s all about learning to control it though. I’m never going to be ‘normal’. As my friend Megan said to me about a week ago, ‘You’re a beautiful nut job Loz, you’re never going to be normal, but that’s why we love you’. But if I can control and live with the cards I’ve been dealt with, that’s good enough for me.
Normal’s boring anyway.