How many times can you change your identity?

One of the big characteristics of BPD is an unstable self-image. I don’t have a particular style clothes wise anyway, never have. Sometimes I’m girly, sometimes I’m grungy, sometimes I’m – you get the picture. But mix this with impulsivity and a hairdressing Mum who works from home, and you have A LOT of different identities and hair changes over the years.

Cue the awkward teenage selfies…


Now this definitely isn’t all of them (probably not even half) – but here are a few for you to see.

My boyfriend says it’s like getting a new girlfriend every few months – as my changes aren’t usually subtle.

HOWEVER, in October I will have been a brunette and without chopping it all off for a year – different shades of brunette, yes – but still pretty proud of myself (if I make it to October!).

I’m a grown up now.

Anyone else as bad as me?

love lauren x

5 thoughts on “How many times can you change your identity?

  1. Tonifus says:

    I do exactly the same thing, it’s like I feel like an entire image overhaul will somehow make it easier to deal with life! My ex used to say the exact same thing! I managed to go for a whole year being brunette, and I was really proud, but I recently caved and went red and changed the style AGAIN! Oops!


    • bylaurenhayley says:

      Yep – completely! It’s like ‘right let’s start again, new person!’ and I feel better for about 2 days whilst it’s new – and then it’s back to being normal again. Haha well a change is OK occasionally, that’s fine!


  2. caseeeyjaneee says:

    I do it…a lot! I feel like tonifus said, I can be a whole new person especially if I’ve been down, like “new look new me” sort of thing! I can’t commit, to anything and my ever changing style is a side effect of that per say, I don’t have a style I can dress differently all the time it’s always changing along with the hair xx


  3. the Prodigal Orphan says:

    For decades I’ve religiously had my hair cut every eighteen to twenty four months whenever it needed to be, just let it slowly slip its way from blonde to even lighter blonde to peppered with sprinklers. Still wearing some t-shirts I have that are older than you, hiking boots on a daily basis, three pairs maybe half your age and in better shape than I am..
    The identity stays the same, but there’s kind of a group dynamic within me (I think we all have one of those within us) and you never knew which one of those loopy assholes chose the t-shirt for the day.
    My BPD wife can sometimes be the more stable of us.
    I will acknowledge, however, that wearing a three-piece suit to work on the days I had to appear in Court sure made a difference in the way I walked.
    Still wore hiking boots (black leather Doc Martens instead of the nu-buck and suede Merrells), though, and I would use four hair-ties for my pony tail, color-coordinated with my shirt and tie.
    Maybe some volumizing mousse.

    And those are soulfully beautiful pictures.
    Never mind the hair or the outfit or the accessories…
    those eyes all seem to tell the same story.
    And there are those in which your smile reaches all the way up to them.


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