This post is about another blogger. I feel a little bit uncomfortable and anxious writing this as the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or make them feel uneasy. But I feel as though this needs to be said and I would be doing a disservice to my fellow BPD sufferers if I didn’t say it.
The blogger, who I’ll call Sarah for sake of this argument, is a mental health advocate. Not by her own admission, but by the message that her posts represent. She posts daily about her struggles and she is an incredibly admirable person. She suffered for many years without answers by the sounds of it, and that’s truly heart breaking when reading the entries on her blog.
Sarah is the sort of blogger I love. I love people that open themselves up to sharing their experiences so that others feel less ‘strange’ and alone. It’s noble and brave. And sometimes yes, it makes the blogger feel good aswell. It makes you feel alive and that you’re a part of something when other people can relate to your troubles. You’re not crazy, afterall.
However, there was a post that Sarah made earlier on today; making reference to a time when a doctor thought she may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. She went on to boldly claim that all of those she has known with the disorder in the past had formed abusive friendships with her, and it was an illness that she ‘despised’ – so as you can imagine she was happy when her concerns were put to rest and she was diagnosed with something else entirely.
I tried to kindly correct her in her comments box, with a small compliment, followed by:
Please know that all Borderline’s aren’t like that though, I promise! 🙂
To which I received a response stating that she found it hard to believe what I had said, as the people she had known with the disorder were all ‘textbook cases’.
I find this hard to swallow. And not because I have a severe fear of choking.
I don’t judge anyone else’s problems. My god, how hypocritical would that be. I’m scared of everything, I can be a psycho bitch more than occasionally and honestly I don’t make sense in my own head, never mind yours.
I don’t understand Schizophrenia because I’ve never experienced it.
I don’t understand Clinical Depression. I’ve never experienced that either.
I don’t understand Multiple Personality Disorder. Or Anorexia. Because again – they’re not something that I’ve ever experienced.
But because I’ve never experienced them things, I have less of a right to judge. You cannot judge someone based on something that you don’t understand. It’s ignorant and it’s quite frankly wrong.
Never mind the fact that we are not our disorders. We are people that have disorders. We are all different. I don’t know how many times this has to be said before people start to realise that. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that BPD is probably one of the most varying disorders out there. There are no two Borderlines with the exact same issues and I for one am a bloody good friend whether you like to believe it or not.
I sometimes shut the world out, and that can include the ones I love, but I am always there for the people that mean the world to me and they know that. I would do anything for them and I wish them nothing but the best in everything that they do.
The thought of someone despising something (That’s a strong statement!) that I have because it ‘terrified [them]’, and then putting me and all the other BPD sufferers into a stereotypical box of crazy, frustrates me more than anything.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that really is what blogging is all about. I do understand that. It’s a place that people use as their diaries; to be honest and open when they can’t be those things anywhere else. The strangers that read our profiles are our supporters and our friends, sometimes more so than the 3-dimensional people outside of the screen.
But you also have to understand that there are people reading what you write from all backgrounds and areas of life. And if you ask me, by making that comment, Sarah undid all her previous hard work of reducing stigma – because just for a second, she was a part of creating it.
Can all of us that suffer these horrific disorders, please get on the same page?