31 Days of BPD
This is a completely different answer depending upon who you’re referring to.
My mum sees me as brave, and able to do anything.
My boyfriend sees me as a bit weird, but loves everything weird about me.
My best friends think I’m crazy, but I wouldn’t be their friend if I wasn’t.
My acquaintances probably see me as normal, easy going and friendly.
I never have much self-doubt when it comes to others’ feelings about me. I think they’re all nuts for caring sometimes, but I do believe them because they demonstrate it through everything that they do.
Sometimes I lose that trust in a moment, but it always comes back and I always know at the back of my mind.
The only time this massively changes is when I’m dissociating and that’s more to do with strangers rather than people I know anyway. The doubt in myself rears its ugly head and everywhere I go everyone is watching me.
I walk down the street and I can feel people’s eyes burning a hole through me. They’re judging me on everything I do, the way I move, the way I look.
It’s awful – but it never lasts long and then comes relief. And normality. For a while.