Day 23: How do you think other people see you?

31 Days of BPD

This is a completely different answer depending upon who you’re referring to.

My mum sees me as brave, and able to do anything.
My boyfriend sees me as a bit weird, but loves everything weird about me.
My best friends think I’m crazy, but I wouldn’t be their friend if I wasn’t.
My acquaintances probably see me as normal, easy going and friendly.

I never have much self-doubt when it comes to others’ feelings about me. I think they’re all nuts for caring sometimes, but I do believe them because they demonstrate it through everything that they do.

Sometimes I lose that trust in a moment, but it always comes back and I always know at the back of my mind.

The only time this massively changes is when I’m dissociating and that’s more to do with strangers rather than people I know anyway. The doubt in myself rears its ugly head and everywhere I go everyone is watching me.

dissociate

I walk down the street and I can feel people’s eyes burning a hole through me. They’re judging me on everything I do, the way I move, the way I look.

It’s awful – but it never lasts long and then comes relief. And normality. For a while.

lovelauren

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5 thoughts on “Day 23: How do you think other people see you?

  1. staystrong10 says:

    It’s always interesting to hear how other people view us, and it never matches what we see ourselves! It’s strange, but I like it because I’m glad that others see me in these nice ways.

    Like

  2. sandysetonb says:

    There can be nothing worse than feeling that everyone is looking at you. All those anxiety dreams that we have of turning up to work naked or something similar!
    As you recognise, these feelings are usually only fairly short lived, and are based on our perception of the world rather than how the world actually sees us.
    If we can hang on to the idea that it will only be a brief experience, it helps us to let it pass. These kinds of experience usually only get worse if we pay attention to them, our bodys’ fight or flight response means that we focus onto the things that seem dangerous, so it takes practice to break the habit.
    You may find taking up mindfulness meditation a help (assuming of course that you are not already doing this) there is good evidence that this can be helpful in this sort of situation as well as being good for our general well-being and relationship to world around us
    Sandy
    vajrablue.com

    Liked by 1 person

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