Last year I took a placement year from university, where I worked for an exhibitions company. I abolutely loved it and shortly after one of our exhibitions at the NEC, I was asked to return the following year to work on the show again.
That’s a big thing. It’s a company that I absolutely loved working for and could potentially work for after uni. And I must have done a good job to have been asked back.
Fast forward 10 months, and agoraphobia has taken it’s form. Today, I got the sweetest email from my boss last year inviting me down for free travel, accommodation, food and nearly £500 for a few days work. Nevermind the fact I’d get to see my friends again that I haven’t seen for around 6 months now and all the venue staff and contractors that I got to know during my time at the company.
And I can’t do it. I can’t go. Because I can’t sit on the train. And I have no other means of getting there.
That is the only thing stopping me from going, and I really want to go.
It’s just so frustrating, but it’s a role that needs filling so I couldn’t keep putting off answering her in hope of a magic cure just around the corner, or let her down last minute.
It’s a shame but I have to think about what I’m capable of. And right now I’m not capable of sitting on a train for two hours. It’s as simple as that.