So today I had my first course of Hypnotherapy.
I’ve had it in the past as a young child for something more medical, but this is the first time I’ve had it for my anxiety, and therefore (ironically) I was a bit anxious about it.
My agoraphobia is so ingrained in me and the way that I live my life that I’ve just got to the point where I can’t continue with how things are and need to change. I can’t travel on trains, buses, sometimes in cars – I can’t go in tall buildings, elevators, big open spaces, closed in spaces – I can’t do anything really. Everyday is a living nightmare.
So this was something I really need to do. I’m at the point of desperation for some help.
Today we spent about an hour talking and then had a 40 minute hypnotherapy session and it went really well. It’s a strange feeling. I felt calm and relaxed – sleepy even, and it felt a lot quicker than it was. I assumed the session had only lasted 10 minutes, so I was surprised when I was told it had lasted 40.
The thing I was most afraid of was not being in control – that’s why I suffer from agoraphobia anyway – but it wasn’t like that. I was in complete control of my body (or I felt as though I was). I could hear everything that was going on; I felt like I could have got up and walked out if I needed to. It was just a deep meditative state.
It wasn’t scary at all and I feel much better about my next session. I’ve booked three sessions in total as that was the reccommended number for agoraphobia – so hopefully I can begin to start overcoming this demon.
It just goes to show, we don’t have to live this way. It’s not a conscious choice to be scared, but it’s a choice nevertheless, so if we can train our brains to think differently – anything is possible.