Stressed

I’ve been getting really angry and anxious recently with the way that my uni operates when it comes to mental health. It’s time they actually started taking it seriously because I’m sure there are many people like me that really seriously struggle with their system.

My exams start tomorrow morning and because of my anxiety I can’t take it in the normal exam hall; so previously the uni have had alternatives put in place for me with absolutely no problem or hesitation. This time however, the university decided to resist until I got hold of an up to date doctors note, which is fine. But even after this it’s taken ages for them to process it and decide whether or not to authorise my request.

I don’t think they understand that it’s a case of moving me, or I’m not doing the exam. It’s not one of those things where I can just ‘grit my teeth’ and get on with it. It is literally – give me an alternative or I’ll have to retake the year.

So I’ve spent all of today (in between revising!) on the phone to the uni trying to sort it out and find out whether or not I’m actually taking my exam tomorrow. Around half an hour ago they finally authorised it which is great, but can’t confirm which room they’ve put me in…

So it’s now it’s 5pm the day before my 9am exam, and I have no idea what room I’m taking my exam in.

They have confirmed that I have a room, just not where it is.

All I got was ‘Turn up early and hopefully someone will be able to find it for you’.

For someone who suffers with anxiety, the last thing I need is to be anxious about where I need to be, on top of the actual exam itself. I have literally never come across such a disorganised and unnecessary system. I have tutors that can vouch for me and confirm my condition, but apparently they still had to make the process as confusing and stressful as possible – and it’s still not even 100% sorted.

To make matters even more annoying, those with a physical disability get put in to these alternative rooms regardless of if they need it, and without going through this process. I don’t begrudge others having it, don’t get me wrong, but come on now, I need it as well. A good friend of mine has a hearing impairment. The exam is taken in complete silence and not one element of it requires the need to hear, and yet she’s had her room sorted for weeks now and can’t understand (along with everyone else) why they can’t do the same for me. And it’s not like they need to source other invigilators and rooms, they’re already in place for the people with ‘real’ disabilities.

It’s absolutely ridiculous and it makes me want to give up before I’ve even started.

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38 thoughts on “Stressed

  1. jasminehoneyadams says:

    Well said! When I was at uni, they were all too ready to give out free laptops to people with dyslexia, but any other “unseen” (as they called it) problems? They didn’t want to know. That was 5 years ago. Universities need to sort this shit out. It’s awful that they’ve done this to you. I would be writing an angry complaint letter to the dean whether or not you find your room because you should have been spending this time revising not having to find out where they have put you and shouldn’t be treated like a second class citizen for trying to get an education with a mental health problem! Good luck on your exam tomorrow I hope they know what they’re doing when you turn up.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Zoe says:

    This gave me anxiety. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this uncertainty before your exam! You’re totally right about schools needing a reform and a faster system to accommodate those who need it. Emphasis on need. This isn’t the request of a spoiled brat who just wants to get her way — this is a NEED for medical reasons! I hope things work out. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kara11190 says:

    I find that too many people don’t understand that the amount of anxiety one has over things like this with an anxiety disorder is not comparable to normal test anxiety or anything of that sort. They seem to think that it’s “normal” to be nervous about a test. While it might be, not to the same degree as someone with an anxiety disorder. They are two completely different feelings. “Normal” nerves over a test or something stressful can be over come by like you said by “gritting your teeth” but not when it’s a disorder.

    I get tired of hearing “well everyone get’s anxious.” Yes they do but it is by no means the same. It is called a disorder for a reason. I wish people could see mental health the same way they see medical health.

    Like

    • bylaurenhayley says:

      Completely agree with you word for word. I haven’t even had time to be normal anxious about the exam because I’m so consumed by where I’ll be taking it! It’s rubbish and it should be the case. I should be worried whether or not I’m going to be getting a grade like everyone else, and if this had been sorted weeks ago I’d have been able to!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kara11190 says:

        You make a great point! The reasons someone with an anxiety disorder is nervous is completely different than why other people are nervous! I remember almost 10 years ago when I was taking my written driving test to get my learners permit. I wasn’t nervous about passing the test, I was nervous because they said I was not allowed to get up during the test. Of course that rule was in place to avoid cheating but I felt trapped. I ended up getting too nervous and got up and ran outside. I was immediately told I could not finish the test. I ended up not going back for over 2 years. I understand their rule but I had no intention of cheating and it felt unfair to me.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. anxietybug88 says:

    That is so effing ridiculous! I mean, is it really that much trouble to set up a separate room for you, or anyone else for that matter? It’s not like they’re using every open space 24/7, and they’re having trouble finding somewhere to put you. I agree completely with the anxiety problems this causes. Taking tests is incredibly stressful, especially when you have an anxiety disorder (or any other disorder). And then they put that stress on you?

    Does your university have a complaint system in place? I would think you’d be able to file a complaint or take it up with the university should they make you take the year over if they don’t provide a space for this exam. At any rate, I know you can do well on this exam. Whatever space you end up taking it in, just concentrate on the exam and try to shut out the stresses around you. I wish you the best of luck! I’m rooting for you!

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  5. dimdaze says:

    My heart goes out to you. I don’t understand why in 2015 we are still dealing with this issue. I guess we don’t have the right illness. It seems that only certain ones are recognized.

    Why can’t they understand. Anxiety is very serious, even paralyzing. I pray my worst enemy will never have to experience it. I hope this works out for you this time.

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  6. borderlinepersonalitydisorders says:

    wow, that does sound really stressful. Glad to hear that you fought through it and stood up for yourself. I have similar issues at work with where i can sit (we sometimes need to move desks around) and i have to be assertive and tell my managers ‘if u put me there, i won’t work because ill be too stressed out’.
    I hope you are able to get everything straightened out and are able to find the time to relax and be peaceful before your exam.
    Keep on pushing them because you are not only the voice for yourself but for the many others that you have not met yet at your university who also deal with similar issues. oxoxoxoxoxxo

    Liked by 1 person

  7. stuffthatneedssaying says:

    That’s so frustrating. When I was in college (on my second attempt) I became severely depressed. One of my professors told me that with a doctor’s note it would be easy to drop as many classes as I needed to. Not so much. I got the doctor’s note, then had to take a form around and get signatures from all the professors AND the department heads, none of whom I even had met before that point. It took me over a week to get the paperwork done and turned in, and it was a struggle every step of the way. Even someone who wasn’t depressed would have found it frustrating, and I was at the point that I was hiding in my bed 24/7 and campus police came to check on me because no one had heard from me in 3 days.

    Like

    • bylaurenhayley says:

      Like you say it’s hard for someone that’s not suffering anyway -it’s like they don’t understand that we’ve just said we have something wrong with us. If we had a stroke we wouldn’t be expected to walk round and get people to sign a note for us!!

      Like

  8. Captain Poppin says:

    I can understand this. My uni were borderline awful when I had my breakdown, eventually I had to drop out of my teacher training due to it all. Their stance was “why didn’t you tell us you’d had MH problems in the past?” I told them that I’d signed the paperwork allowing them to check my doctors records, and that if they didn’t check, that’s not my fault. I also argued that having a previous mood disorder wasn’t the reason I’d had a breakdown when I had no mentor and was left to run a class solo in my first half term of teacher training.

    I’ve thought about trying for some compensation, seeing as their lack of support has meant that I suffered a breakdown and 2 years down the line I’m still housebound with anxiety, agoraphobia and severe depression. I just don’t like the idea of taking money off an educational institution.

    Like

  9. lifeofmiblog says:

    I presume your uni would consider that their psychology, etc programs are top rated? It just shows that words are cheap and most of these institutions have the wrong people in charge. All the best for tomorrow (today for me)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. proudmummabear says:

    Baby girl, you can do this, I am so proud of you and love you with all my heart. Think a meeting with someone about their mental health policy is in order when I come up! Absolutely disgusting behaviour and treatment of a student x

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Emily Lane says:

    As you know, unfortunately mental and emotional conditions are mostly unseen, lurking on the inside. People are still trying to wrap their brains around disabilities that aren’t evident to the eye. Hopefully, this is changing, but I’m sure not soon enough. I wish you good luck with your exam, and hope your anxiety isn’t as bad as you expect.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. undiscoveredgyrl says:

    Universities can be ridiculous. While I was at uni around September/October I was at my worst with my anorexia, along with depression and anxiety on top and I had gotten in trouble for missing days or going home early (which I didn’t do that often, but at the same time I was struggling) I was very ill one of the day’s due to my anorexia and I explained to my tutor about it and she said ‘I get migraines and I come in, and so can you’

    Which obviously was ridiculous.
    My depression got much worse and so did my anxiety and I was still trying my hardest, I attempted suicide and was in hospital for a few days on a drip, then the next Monday I was back at university where I got accused of basically making it up because I’d had a hot chocolate from Costa and posted a picture of it the day before I went into hospital.

    I ended up leaving university due to the absolute lack of support!

    Like

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