This photo came up on my Timehop this morning – you know the app that tells you what you were doing this day last year and all the other years since you’ve been on social media.
I took it from the roof top bar in the Hilton on Park Lane in London a year ago today. I’d been doing an event there downstairs and was enjoying a glass of wine up there with a friend afterwards, before heading into Covent Garden and having many more glasses.
I think that bar was the 23rd floor. It made me a bit nervous, but only because I don’t like lifts and I have to be honest, I did walk up all of them stairs. Only to be faced with the 22nd floor sign reading ‘roof top bar access through elevator only’ and so had to get in it anyway.
But the fact is I did it. I enjoyed a drink at the 23rd floor. I walked up to the window and took pictures; I wasn’t in a rush to leave.
One year on, I can’t go higher than the 1st floor. And I have to be real with you, sometimes I struggle with that. If I go any higher, panic runs through me; I’m too far from the exit and can’t get out.
Anyway I woke up this morning and had this notification on my phone ready and waiting, so my mood hasn’t been the best so far today. Anxiety is such a frustrating thing to live with because it rids you of everything you know you’re capable of. And this photo was just another reminder of that.