Agoraphobia is stupid isn’t it. I mean I’m not belittling it, I have it myself. But it’s stupid.
How can I allow my brain to take over me in such a way that prevents me from doing everything I want to do? I allow it to convince me that I’m trapped in certain situations when I’m really not – and even if I was, it wouldn’t hurt me.
It’s what I’ve conditioned myself to believe, but it isn’t real.
It reminds me of my beautiful dog, Charlie. When mum’s in the front garden and leaves him in the house, he barks. But when she let’s him out, he runs out of her site.
So instead, she began putting his lead on him. She doesn’t hold the lead. She doesn’t even have to be anywhere near him, but he doesn’t leave the garden. He recognises that the lead means he’s restrained and can’t leave, but of course that’s not true.
That’s what I feel like – my poor baby (it’s for his own good really!) being tricked into thinking something that’s not true. It’s as though somebody’s put a lead around my neck and walked away; yet I believe it stops me.
But it’s difficult to re-condition yourself. Simply knowing that you’re incorrect isn’t nearly enough to stop feeling it. So how do you do it? How does one with agoraphobia finally take the lead off and be free?