See you later, alligator

Quite often when I go quiet and don’t blog for a while people assume I’m not OK; like I’m too sad or anxious to want to blog.

I know I’ve been quiet recently, but really the reason behind that is quite the opposite. I’m nowhere near ‘better’, but I’ve been feeling hopefully and making progress recently. I’ve pushed myself into walking further than I have in a long time, I’ve started painting again, I’ve started my YouTube channel – I’ve just started doing things I enjoy for me and began to recover.

The reason I originally started this blog was to have somewhere to rant, lay out my feelings and speak to some fantastic people who understand all of what I’m going through and it’s great for that. I do occasionally also share some random aspects of my life and more positive stories, but it was never the main purpose for this space.

And so really, the reason I’ve been quiet is because of that – because I’ve been more positive and happy than I have been in a while. I have been busy getting better.

I love being on here and getting to know all of you great people, and I’m sure I’ll be back to using this blog more often soon – as everyone knows, recovery and general mental health comes in waves. However, I just wanted to write this post to reassure everyone I’m OK firstly, and secondly to take some of the pressure off me ‘having to’ write posts frequently.

I love being an advocate for mental health and I love that people feel as though they can come to me with their problems. I still get emails and tweets daily from people who want some advice or just a general chat and please don’t stop doing that, it’s great.

On the flip side though, I think I immersed myself into the world of mental health so much that that’s all I have been able to think about recently. Everything in my life has been concerning my anxiety or mental health in general. I have been meeting with great organisations and talking to fantastic people constantly, and I’m not by any means saying I am going to cut ties with them, but it’s taken me until now to realise that I think I need more than that.

I have been so wrapped up in mental health services and everyone has been telling me how proud they are of me for doing it, that I think I’ve forgotten all the other stuff I enjoy doing. For instance I can’t remember the last time I did a piece of art that wasn’t mental health related because it was just pretty.

Having to think about my own mental health and other’s mental health on a constant basis is too much for me right now. The whole reason I suffer from such bad anxiety is because I over think situations, and so I don’t need to be in a situation right now where I have to think about it even more.

This is not goodbye. I will be back soon, but I just wanted to let you all know where I am at and the reason I have been so quiet. I appreciate you all and I promise I’m OK!

Speak soon!
L x

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28 thoughts on “See you later, alligator

  1. Amb says:

    I’m really glad that you’re doing well! We’ll all be here when you are ready to blog again! Enjoy the other things! Enjoy you! Many hugs, friend! xxx

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  2. championsforwellness says:

    So awesome that you are reflecting on what’s important to you and then taking action. Sometimes it can feel like it is hard to do that, but when we finally do? Oh, amazing things happen. Really amazing things. Enjoy your break and all the wonderful things that will come your way 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. tamingthewolf73 says:

    It’s great that you’re in a good spot and that you are being creative. Sometimes making a thing, whatever form it takes, can bring us out of ourselves – or at least help up get out of our own way 😀. Just remember that we are all here for you, when you need us. X

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  4. gettingthroughanxiety says:

    I’m happy that you’re getting better and making progress, that’s so important and exciting! I understand that it can be hard to hear about anxiety when overthinking is such an issue. It’s important that in addition to helping yourself and others with mental health issues, that you do what you enjoy! I wish you all the best!

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  5. Andrew Wilcox says:

    Glad you are doing well. I too find myself blogging mostly when I need an outlet. It feels good though, knowing so many people care enough to reach out when they haven’t seen a new blog post lately. To know you are in their thoughts can be uplifting!

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  6. lamjylam says:

    Hey Lauren,
    I’ve been in that same spot, where you come to the realization that most of your thoughts are becoming about mental health, advocating for mental health, and that there are less and less thoughts about the other things that interest you, and make up who you are.

    Taking a step back to rediscover what it is you love – such as art, in your case – can never be a bad thing. It’s a great thing to be doing. So cheers to that, and don’t feel any pressure!

    Be and do you – including everything you like and are interested in.

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  7. Aidan not Aiden says:

    I’m glad you’re absent because you’re doing well! That really seems to be a catch-22 of blogging: When you’re in a bad spot you don’t have the motivation or energy to blog, but when you’re in a good spot you don’t have the time because you’re so busy enjoying the good spot!

    You enjoy your good spot. ❤

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  8. tracihalpin says:

    Lauren I’m glad you’re well. I too have been feeling the same way. I wrote a similar post and my therapist said she was glad I was getting away from all the bipolar stuff. My blog is now more abou me and starting over without all the mental health stuff. I too was starting to feel like I was swimming in it and I said I need a break from that. Glad you’re enjoying life💕

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  9. azileea says:

    This is so true: it’s so easy to fall into the “mental health” hole where anything and everything is about mental health.

    Btw I really like your YouTube channel! You have a nice voice. ^^

    Like

  10. twaldron2014 says:

    Great to hear that you are feeling better. Sounds like you have been taking care of yourself. You have a terrific, honest voice when you write. Your insights must be very helpful to others.

    Like

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