31 Days of BPD
Confession: I’m purely writing another 31 Days post today so that I don’t have to look at Day 24 everytime I look at the top of my blog. It wasn’t an answer I was particulary comfortable writing.
This question comes a lot easier to me though. There’s a few things actually. And most of them are probably directed towards what I wish my boyfriend had known when we first met – because I’m pretty good at masking my feelings with everyone except for him.
- I’m not being a bitch on purpose I promise. It’s like something takes over me and I have no control of what I’m doing or saying. Just give me 10 minutes to be on my own, let me apologise afterwards and things will go back to normal.
- When I ignore you, I’m not ignoring you. When I’m hurt or frustrated my mind goes completely blank – I have no words to say.
- Don’t try to be funny when I’m in an awful mood. I’m not asking you to change your personality so don’t make out as though I expect you to change, but don’t purposely wind me up. I can’t take it and I will lash out at you.
Simple. Take note, pay attention and try and be a little sympathetic – even though I know I don’t always deserve it.
Really insightful post, Lauren. It shows real growth in a relationship to to get clarity around your needs
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Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.
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it was supposed to say courage and clarity
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I feel similarly about my depression and anxiety. I feel obligated to warn and apologize when starting new friendships or relationships.
Good post 🙂
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I know what you mean – I’m definitely like that as well.
Thanks 🙂
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Hey I hear that people with bpd are strongly attracted to each other. Let’s forget the bit where we also ruin each other’s lives and get together, bb. But seriously, good luck to you.
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I guess it’s just two incredibly strong personalities with no grey areas on how they feel – makes sense. Thanks 🙂
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A very subtle rejection but I’ll take it. Haha.
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Haha sorry I didn’t get the reference. Very sweet but how you be hitting on me on a post about my boyfriend haha?!
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Yeah definitely. Haha. I’ll drop it. Hope you’re doing well.
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Haha no worries, thanks, you too.
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I wish that people would think less rigidly in terms of labels and diagnoses. In my opinion it’s more helpful to see people as unique individuals, rather than disorders. I would also question whether there is a firm dividing line between “borderline” and “non-borderline”; in that way, one might consider reframing the question asked (what do you wish non-borderlines could understand?) – although I think your three ideas were very good.
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I’m completely in two minds about labels. Which is unlike me. I’m usually opinionated and have an answer for everything haha. But part of me agrees with you – there should be less labels. Everyone’s different and has different issues and needs. But there’s also a massive part of me that needs that label. It doesn’t define me, I’m still Lauren before anything else. But I was so relieved when I finally got a diagnosis that there was a name for it. I suffered and battled for years with my head not knowing what was going on, to finally have a name meant I could have answers and hopefully solutions. And that was priceless to me.
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Another good post. I think relationships should come with a disclaimer. I always use to think that surprises were good but now I realize that some things should be disclosed.
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I wish they would understand when I say I can’t just BE HAPPY! If i could change how I feel believe me I would! xx
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I know. ‘You have nothing to be sad about’ – I KNOW BUT I AM ANYWAY, leave me alone! x
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